I Just Need to Feel (Something More)

​I’m afraid of being alone.
But not enough to have you around,
Not enough to call you home.
But sometimes I feel otherwise,
And I just need to feel something more.

Can you tell me? Is she lovely?
Not that I care, because I don’t.
Not that I’ll cry, because won’t.
It’s just some nights I miss you once or twice,
And I just need to feel something more.

Remember when I thought all we needed
Was a song with harmony?
But then she sent us right out of key.
Sometimes I still sing our melody,
And I just need to feel something more.

Late at night I shiver cold to the bone,
Needing your body to keep me warm,
But you’ve got another woman to hold.

But most the time I don’t care.
I don’t think.
I can’t breathe.
Tell me, what about you?
Because, honey, I don’t need to.

So come over, get a little closer.
Use me up until I am all gone.
Then hold me, oh honey, give me
Your every breath to resurrect
the woman inside of me.

I just need to feel something.

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Waning Crescent Moon

I understand why the waning crescent moon is in pain.
It doesn’t have a match to make the sun burn a brighter flame.
Do you ever find it easy to relate?
Just another night, dark and empty.
And I just need to feel something.

Ghost Town

I’ll never go back now, to that unholy ground on Alabama clay. It’s just a place for passing through, not a place I’d want to stay. All the little people there are frail souls roaming aimlessly along. All with battered knees from kneeling down in hopes of receiving forgiveness. It’s a lonely ghost town that hasn’t seen the light of day in so long. And I’m way too gone to turn around for you now.

I know that it swallowed you whole and you’ve lost your will to keep pressing on, but I hope and I pray it spits you out. That maybe you find your own way out through its belly and past its gritted teeth. That you finally realize all along you knew the way to be free.

Coals

Take a breath and count to ten.

You’re not alone boy, you never have been.

You’re just a coal yearning for the slightest spark

Just to feel alive again.

Settle down, boy, settle down.

Put down the whiskey, you don’t need that now.

Settle down, boy, settle down.

Come tomorrow, you’ll be able

To turn things around.

Permission

Who said that you could leave?

That you could take off without taking me?

I’m not saying that I’m your keeper,

But I thought our time together was so much deeper

than a night of forehead kisses, starlight wishes, and record grooves that sent us spinning.

I never said that you needed my permission,

But now, to you, I fully grant it.

You may forget me now or forget me never,

Rise with the sun or wither with the winter,

but always remember that I cried the oceans that you set sail on, and I hope they hold you forever.

Job 13:15

“Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face.”- Job 13:15 (ESV)

As my preacher, Brook Lovett, is beginning/continuing a series in Job, I’ve taken some time to really read the book. This verse has always been one to catch my attention. Job’s devotion is admirable (dare I say “radical”) for God. And God knew it too (“…He still holds fast his integrity, although you [satan] invited me against him to destroy him without reason.” – Job 2:3). Job’s loved ones couldn’t understand why exactly Job didn’t want to curse God or “make himself right” with God because of all of his current calamities. Satan took away his property & children… he attacked Job’s health. But Job knew that the temporal life he was living was just that… temporary. He was suffering for his life in ETERNITY. His friends were trying to “doctor” Job back to his life of prosperity with God, saying that only the guilty & shameful are punished like this… and that if he was guilty/shameful, he needed to “get right” with God. And I love how the Message translates Job’s reaction in chapter 13 saying, “Just WAIT, this is going to work out for the best – my SALVATION! If I were guilt-stricken do you think I’d be doing this – laying myself on the line before God?”

Even if God was “slaying” him, Job still kept faith in God and waited for God to help him. He knew that his own ways would prove him worthy to God anyway. He was no hypocrite. He was a blameless man who loved his savior no matter what was happening to him on this earth because he knew that if he died, his end result would be in Heaven alongside his Father.  

Job’s story is convicting. Can we really say we are blameless and/or upright like Job? Can we really say that if our children, property, and good health were taken away, that we would still be blessing God’s name from the beginning to the end? In times of suffering, are we THAT devoted to Christ? What radical, scandalous love Job had for his Creator!! Do we have that kind of love for our God?! Church, it’s time that our love for God looks like that of Job. The kind of love that reflects pure & honest devotion to God regardless of what is happening to us here on earth. Suffering is not easy, but whoever said that it was supposed to be? We get so caught up in “here” and “now” that we forget about eternity. That is our GOAL, people: eternity!! Whatever God allows here on earth, good or bad, we must STILL praise him through it all because He has prepared a place for US to spend a lifetime with him because he LOVES us. How AWESOME is that? It’s going to be some place far more majestic & beautiful than we can ever imagine, and those who follow him get to experience that. Job was pressing towards a holy life among God by hoping in him, no matter what the cost.  

I want to strive be like that. I want my love for Christ to overflow and my life to prove worthy to Him. I think we should all strive to press on towards eternal life.

Privilege

Getting to know someone is a privilege.  There is such wisdom and many stories lying underneath each person’s tongue.  And some of us are fortunate enough to stumble upon a person who is vulnerable (but in a way that a stoic longs to be) who is willing to share a piece of their life with anyone who listens.  They allow us to unwrap them… like a gift.  Often, we take advantage of this.  We’ve become little children on Christmas morning, unwrapping box after box with no time taken to appreciate what it is that we have truly been given.  When encountering another human being, we have been given the opportunity to learn about the universe through someone else’s eyes.  The opportunity to see the world’s history, present, and future all in one being.  The opportunity to take whatever love we possess and pour it into another heart.  The opportunity for us to become vulnerable and finally let another person not only unwrap us, but teach us that getting to know someone is a privilege.